I Can No Longer Ignore This And Don’t Want To Give The Wrong Impression

2009, 170lbs

I’m out of shape, there I said it.  No longer do I possess the Token Bro body of yesteryear that I was proud of.  And I mean the body of two years ago as you can see in this picture how I was killing it with the abs the pecs.  You I did the usually workout routine like the rest of you fuckers and made sure I ate right so I could keep the form up.  Then one winter weekend I gave up and just started sleeping in late and getting lazy, drinking the heavy thick beers and making mega sandwiches.  Oh yea, forgot to add in the cigars.  I think that was the rise of the inner asshole in me coming out?  This maybe the cockiest and tool sounding thing that I may have ever said but back then I was pulling some serious ass.  Then this happen……..

2010, 185lbs

Lost the abs and just became thick.  Not fat thick but muscular thick, cept it was hard to tell.  This was only last year in October when this picture was taken.  What a mess, what happen, I need some motivation.  I stopped drinking all natural juice with my meals and replaced them for Sam Adams and Woodchuck Cider beer and midnight sandwich snacks.  Can a sandwich be considered a snack?  Lets just say yes so I won’t feel like a slob.  Also I lost the attention of some white girls, which that left a scar on me.  So that bring me to this current picture of me

with a motherfucking apple in my hand.  Weighing in at 183lbs but I do have news to add in.  I started doing a jailhouse workout I found online so I’m start to get some form back to my body and looking somewhat decent.  So ladies there is still hope for me left…..don’t give up me yet.  Telling its rough being a token and trying to compete with others that look like A&F models.  While I’m over here looking like a broke down Mos Def.  By the way, how crappy is my beard?  I got lazy and decided to down to the stubble and get creative with my facial hair.  Only mad men do that shit!  I need to start getting back on the right path and find way to at least be above average again.  I might start going to back to the gym again and being serious doing more push ups, sit ups, and longer runs so when myself and what ever unlucky girl who has to see me naked when are play King & Queen under the covers won’t be disappointed with what she sees.  I have a long road ahead of me but I know with a little help? Nah, but with the right inspiration I will be back to yesteryear token bro mode.

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Finally, Watching Dancing With The Stars Gives Back To Me For Being A Good Fan

Yes I am a fan of DWTS and I am also a huge fan of the female and I just became a bigger fan of Ms Karina Smirnoff.  Chick is exotic looking, nice eyes, dick wrecking ass, and she just basically told hollywood and the world what’s really good, by posing for playboy.  Yea all my friends would give me a hard time for watching this show and I would always tell them that one day that something extremely good would come from watching and being a fan of DWTS and that day has finally happen.

She went into Playboy mode and told basically told the world that she is DWTS queen she’s too fireflames to for her fame not to share her body with the world.  Slow clap for her, think my eyes maybe getting teary eyed….not sure yet. Either way this chick is legit.  Wait, this doesn’t make me creepy does it, hopefully I won’t get banned from facebook for this blog.

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The Royal Wedding That I Don’t Care About And Can’t Wait to Be Over

There is no escaping this Royal Wedding madness, like it’s literally all up in everyone’s grill piece so hard that it needs to stop. I pick up a newspaper to read on the way to work to pass the time and there is like 3 pages talking about it. 10 tips for Kate Middleton to survive in the family, how to make your own royal wedding, scoop on what food will be served. Stop, enough, no more please, lets just focus on some other shit. The Lifetime channel has created a William & Kate movie that has about 9 F’ing parts to it. Oh and they like to remind the viewers that the movie is based on true events…..well I thought this shit was made up by the guy who wrote the Notebook and the director of the movie. Listen, if they are going to be blowing this Royal Wedding up and broadcasting this shit on every damn channel than I better see a god damn camera in Williams room when he is giving it to Kate. Or I just better see Kate naked cause god knows that broad is a smokeshow and she has a killer ass under those classy sundresses that she rocks. When it’s time for my wedding I better be getting calls from TLC, MTV, BET, and Comedy Central to get the goods on what’s going down….you know since it’s a wedding.

P.S. Yes I understand why there is so much hype over the wedding, it’s a big historical moment, and has a lot of meaning. I still could give a shit.

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10 Artist/Songs You Probably Never Heard Of And Should Mostly Likely Start Following

1.Norwegian Recycle – Indie mashup dj’s that take songs and well you know, they combine songs and make a sick mashup

2.
Dumbfounded is favorite korean rapper that is insanely sick with his flows.  He’s a well know rapper in Los Angles and in the underground circuit, freestyle rap battle legend too.  Check him out.

3.
The Good Husband is a weird fucking band but they are legit so it’s alright.  The reason why they are weird is because the number of members that they have, sometimes it’s 2 members one day and then the next time I listen to them it’s all 5 members spitting fire.  They are like the NWO of music, just adding members when ever.  Never the less I still want you to listen to more of their songs.

4.
Ninjasonik, what up hipster rappers.  Underground band that is fireflames and has a huge following.  Crazy as fuckers and people in Brooklyn NY love their jockage.  Hurry up and love them.

5.
Fortune Family is another NYC rap group that is well-known by the underground community and some colleges but should be known by more.  Great stuff.

6.
I love the group Split Second, just can’t do no wrong.  They cater to everyone’s ears and they know how to deliver well.  Dubstep, rock, rap, they can do it all.

7.
Ground Up will get your ass up and into the mood.

8.
I’ll let this song speak for its self.  They came out with newer songs but this one of the tightest joints.  Make sure you check out their other songs.

9.
Shawn Chrystopher is just dirty with it.  Swag is nice, ideas are legit, good songs for occasions.

10.
MGK, folks open your ears and enjoy.  I have been waiting for this dude to blow up for a while, he gets the whole room bumping and everybody just goes wild.  Next time he comes to Boston it would be a good idea to try to score some tickets.

I left a shitload of Artist/Bands off this list so I’m going to have to make a part 2 sometime next week and the rest to the other top 10.  Till next time, I bid thee goodbye and to enjoy.

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Tricking People, White Girls, Being Token, And Answer To All Those Things….Nothing Really To Be Surprise About

No that is not me in that picture with the lazy eye and the backwards affliction hat, I wear fake (N)Ed Hardy shirts

What up folks?  Nice weather we’re having now, the birds are out, air smells healthy(can air smell healthy?), and the drunks make my days a little bit more interesting.  There’s still a couple of female friends that I want to hookup with but that’s for a different blog.  For the moment I’d like to answer two questions that I always get asked but I usually reply with a half assed answer but I thought this time I would give the real answer that you all seek, yea shit is about to get weird here, well awkward more than weird.

Tricking People? Is Token Jones a funny guy, gives you a good chuckle, make your sides hurts from laughing,  boobs jiggle from cracking up?  I’m not even a funny guy at all, it’s mostly being clever I think.  I don’t think or at least remember calling myself funny but I do know I make people laugh.  Maybe it’s because I’m quick thinking and see shit differently that people think I’m funny.  I will admit I’m one of the cleverest mother G fuckers around and that I can be proud of.  I’m like Mischa Barton in a way, she pulled one of the greatest tricks by convincing everybody she was hot but it was all a sham, for her she deserves a slow clap.

Being a Token – Why am I always joking about being a token, or mention it every now and then?  Because it’s the damn truth, you see Justin Timberlake letting the world know how he owns celebrity pussy.  I can’t even remember the last time I was in a room with all black people or at least the last all black party I been too?  I’m pretty sure I would stand out more than Mel Gibson in a Jewish temple so that doesn’t work for me and plus I get uncomfortable now when I’m not around my white folks.  However I do have 4 best black friends that I knew since I was a little lad back in the elementary school days when I was trying to play ice cream man with the other little girls.  I just enjoy being a token and I’m good at it, sucks it’s not a professional job and I can’t get paid for it but I do have good friendships and have taught some people things and learned some things at the same time so it’s all good.

White girls – This is a constant 27/7 thing I talk and joke about I think. I know people probably get tired of it and just want me to shut the fuck up already about it.  Hey I grew up around white girls so that’s what I’m use to liking and talking to too.  MLK once said that he dreamed of a day when little black boys and little white girls can play with each other and not have to be worried about what people thought.  Well that’s what I am doing, keeping his dream alive and playing with grown white girls and trying to create a better world.  Just trying to do my part, don’t know why some people aren’t okay with it but eh.  Plus white girls have the total package going on, real hair and none of that weave ish, white girls can decided to either be pale or dark tan….what!?  Boobs, check and check, and white girls have the best asses, whooty or no whooty it still does damage and drives a man wild.  Now there’s more to white girls than just looks, wasn’t going to leave that out.  White girls look at the situation that’s going on and try to solve it instead of flying on the handles and going buck wild.  Not being loud in public and on the street.  Some how blacks find a way to be louder than fuckin trains, planes, and trucks, how that even possibly?  I’m not saying black girls are evil or stupid, no, no I’m not even saying that.  What I am saying is that I just prefer white girls over black girls for different reason.  That’s it.Maybe this video will explain it better than I did.

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Blame The Ugly Girls For Sending The Smokeshow Pia Home

I had no idea American Idol still existed if it wasn’t for all the angry, depression, facebook statuses I saw regarding “America sucks” and “Pia” then I had to see what the fuss was about.  The only explination I can give is that the ugly girls of America had to much hate juice to drink last night and couldn’t stand to look at Pia anymore.  Not cool, not cool at all on the part of the uglies.  Sending home this heavenly olive skin angel instead of the of the young spanish Tom Cruise look-alike.  Dude knew it should have been him going home, pause the video at the 1:22 mark and look at his facial expression.  At that moment he probably already thought that he won a contract with Telemundo music program.

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10 Reasons Why Opening Day At Fenway Park Is So Legit

0-6 record vs Opening day at Fenway Park, just seems like a cruel fake life we’re living in but I guess it’s time to wake up today and start fresh.

1. The Sox are facing the Yankees in a 3 game series, no doubt the best team to beat on opening day.

2. Taking the Green Line/Red Line to Fenway is only the beginning of the fun.  Already Drunk fans chanting “Fuck New York” in front of little kids looking confuse.  I say it’s fair game, little kids have to learn sooner or later.

3. If you’re 21 of age you can finally buy beer while you’re in the stadium talking to random strangers about god know what.  Taxes, boss gave you free tickets, school?

4. Lansdowne street is going to be full of chaos but it will be well worth it.  You’re either going to catch a Sox vs Yankee fight or be able to smell the sweet smell of the lovely green in the air.

5. Hot white girls wearing tight Sox shirt’s or jersey and a real sox hat, not that Victoria Secret Pink Hat they came out with.

6. Not going into work, leaving work early and not really giving a fuck.

7. Boston Roasted Nuts and Baked Beans. If you have never bothered to try either one of those before then you should just consider yourself useless on so many levels.

8. Harass Yankees fans for 3 days. I mean throw shit at them, give them the mean muggin face and let them know what’s really good.

9. Everyone gets laid on opening day. That has been the rules as long as I been alive. I remember when I was 12 yrs old and I went to opening day with my dad and that was the first time I seen some boobs of some college broad. My eyes got laid that day, true story.

10. It’s the mother fucking weekend, 3 days of not being bored and being drunk.  a 3 day fake holiday in Boston.

Enjoy.

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