February 14th is around the corner and you know what that means…ya I’m just as lonely as the rest of you. Valentines day is not fun to experience alone even in grade school it was hard (you try being the fat kid in class whose valentine was the only without candy cause it was more important for little Jimmy Sonofabitch Jr. to get an extra lollipop cause Suzzy Imahoenow had a crush on him, ya I didn’t forget lets see I buy you a drink next time I see you at the bar you shallow shallow soul….sorry what was i saying again).
Of course if your use to being single (I KNOW I AM HIGH FIVE) then you know February 14th is also S.A.D or singles awareness or singles appreciation day. For those off you unaware of this glorious celebration let me enlighten you on the holiday.
When you wake up alone that morning call out of work and call up a single friend either male or female makes no difference. Roll up a blunt, pack a bowl, or make some drinks and begin planning your day. If there is a sporting event get tickets to it and harass every poor sap that won’t be enjoying it because they have to explain the sport to their significant other (ladies harass the woman and just call them whores all game long what is the boyfriend gonna do hit you? Ya I think not and if he does hit me up I got your back). Or catch a good comedy everyone is gonna be busy watching a sappy love film in an attempt to get it in so you know no one will be trying to see any thing comical.
After this go grab some fast food or chinese food cause god knows the wait at T.G.I fridays and olive garden is gonna be 2 hours because “Romeo” thinks a 11 dollar chicken parm is the way to shorty’s heart(spoiler alert it’s not but A for effort Jimmy Sonofabitch Jr.). After you get that grub in you light up another does of happy lettuce and find a good bar to go to.
Once you find a bar you’ll see you aren’t the only ones celebrating S.A.D. People from all walks of life will be celebrating from lawyers, the recently divorced, doctors, strippers, athletes, anyone this holiday does not discriminate.
So cheer up my follow loners for brighter days are ahead and come February 14th I’ll see you at the bar I may not drink but for one night there may be an exception and you can bet that the lettuce will be in my system. And who knows you just may find a fellow loner to cuddle up with at the end of the night.